I get it. Our society is still finding its way into gender equality. We are still fighting for equal rights for women. Traditionally, men were the breadwinners and women the caretakers. So this is a “new” thing for some of us, but as a society, we should be farther along than we are.
I take the morning shift: cooking breakfast, fixing lunches, making sure kids brush their teeth and dress in appropriate clothing and get their shoes, walking them all to school, walking the three who arent in school back home, keeping twins out of mud and toilets, entertaining the baby, reading them stories, putting them all down for naps.
My husband takes over at 12:30 p.m., while they’re sleeping. When they wake, he wrestles with them and sends them outside to play and invites their friends over so there are 12 or 13 kids in the house (my anxiety just went through the roof) and makes the older kids do their homework. He knows where all the kid’s school papers go and he signs all their reading logs and he marks their behavior folders and he makes sure their lunch stuff gets put in the sink and washed for tomorrow. He feeds the baby and changes diapers and makes sure they clean up their toys before dinner so the house is somewhat tidy by the time the day is through and then he cooks dinner.
People are shocked. Must be nice to have a husband who helps like that, they say.
But I wasn’t the only one who decided to have six kids. I was not the only participant either. Of course, he helps so I can work too. My husband understands that I am a better mother because of my work.
When he’s watching the kids so I can hole up in my room and write a handful of essays, it’s not babysitting. When I go out once a month with my book club friends to talk about a book for all of five minutes and then talk about our lives for another three hours, and he’s with the kids, that’s not babysitting. When he decides to bake some chicken in the oven or organize some out of control papers or take the baby for a few hours while I get a little extra sleep, he’s not just “helping.” He’s parenting.
I’m glad we could set that straight.
This story first appeared on Mother.ly and is reprinted here with permission.
HOME 168 Celebrates Soft Launch with Discount Rate
6 ways of making a cake without an oven
Wag po. Maawa na po kayo! A story about the motherland.
5 Things A Wife Needs To Prepare In Case She Needs to Leave Her Husband
When You’re Too Tired for Sex With Your Husband
Flatiron Brisket 6 by Chef Vicki
DO: 6 Steps to clearing up clutter as you go
Husband Says He Cant Afford Her as a Stay-at-Home Mom When He Shows Her Why, I Was FLOORED