The Professional Applicant

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That it is hard to find a job is an understatement. It is way beyond hard. It is near impossible. Especially for undergraduates like me. Cashiers have to be accounting graduates. Waitresses have to be HRM graduates. Secretaries need to have Business Ad. Diploma under their sleeves. And experience is a magical word that you can only have if you’re a graduate.

I wish I listened to my mother when she said that education is your only way out of poverty circle. But no, I have to be one of those misfits who have to learn outside the classroom. I have to prance in the countryside to learn something that is right in my face all the while. That our system is so hopeless that only a revolution can change the balance of poverty. Or maybe an earthquake that will bring everything to the ground so we can have a fresh start. I’m beginning to understand Nero when he razedRome. But that’s another story.

Meanwhile, I have to feed my family, support my sons’ education, pay for the rent, bills and everything else associated with living. I mean, revolution is fine. So long as other people do it. Wow. What a juvenile thing to say.

So I became, by sheer need and logical conclusions, the professional applicant. My friend summarized it for me. Only companies that accept undergraduates like me are call centers. Which is good if you’re nocturnal, don’t have a sex life, and don’t have friends. Whatever. The pay is good (relatively speaking, I mean in a society like ours, do you expect compensation commensurate to your abilities? But please, let’s not start on that).

Lets start with, what else, resume. Do you realize how costly is it just to print these papers? Some companies even have the gall to demand an original 1 x 1 ID picture in your resume. As if how you look affects your chances of getting hired. I may have forgotten my labor code but that just smacks of discrimination. My main concern, however, is not the discrimination. My main concern is that a picture would have an additional cost of about a hundred bucks. And it’s going down the shredder if you’re not hired. Sigh. I learned the invaluable use of scanning and photocopying in a short order.

Now, for the specifics. Buy every paper you can lay your hands on every Sunday. Another pie out of your pocket but let’s not mention costs anymore. You have to spend money to make money. Don’t forget to browse the net too. Take down their addresses. Despite the sign that says, We Prefer Online Applicants, don’t EVER, EVER, submit your resume online.  They will call you after 10 years.

 

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